The Random (and mostly video game related) Adventures of Chrono Stone
by Metrosexual Autarch
Summary: This fanfiction has almost nothing to do with the actuall characters from the show (except for one or another cameo). It's just my two Original Characters messing around like idiots. First off we have Chrono Stone, a really hyeractive and impuslive stallion and Eternal Blizzard, a pony made 100% out of semen and Chrono's best friend! Rated M for Languaje.
1. Legend of Melda Part One

_**This is the first chapter of Chrono's and Blizz's random adventures!**_

* * *

Blizz and Chrono are in Chrono's home, Chrno jsut bought a new videogame and was about to play it.  
"dude, what kind of crap did you just buy?"  
"the one and only..." the game starts, a screen saying 'press starp' appears "Legend of Melda, and the Ukulele of Time!"  
Chrono presses the starp button and they get to a 'select file screen'. he taps a button on the screen and he gets to a 'name your character' screen, where he types his own name.  
"hey, that's a very original name" Blizz said sarcastically.  
"well, you don't give a fuck, do you, you 25-cent whore?" he said while starting up the file.  
In the game, the character, who looked pretty much like Chrono, except for his green clothes and his red hat, was sitting on a little house in an ingame ubication called the 'Everfree Forest.  
Suddenly a Fairy that looked pretty much like Twilight Sparkle flew over to him. "hello! I'm a fairy!"  
Chrono turned his eyes to the fairy and raised an eyebrow.  
"and the day has come for your quest to begi..." the fairy screamed loudly as Chrono sprayed it with bug repelant.  
"oh, Shit!" he looks down as the fairy falls down to the ground. "those little fuckers DO sting..."  
Two minutes later, the fairy was floating again and was screaming at Chrono.  
"okay, let's see, you stupid beast! I tried to ask politely!" she gets closer to him. "either you come with me or I'll have the Fucking Talking and Molesting Tree stick a branch up your anus! your aaaaannnnnuuuuussss...!"  
fifteen minutes later, Chrono and the Fairy went to the 'Fucking Talking and Molesting Tree' (who had Molestia's face on it). Chrono was both stunned and scared because he was a bit worried for the safety of his ass, knowing what the face on the tree meant.  
the tree seemed to know they were there, and started talking. "oh, you have finally arrived!"  
"Yeah, dude, and you're gonna have to pay me extra, because this asshole..." she momentarily turns to Chrono. " almost killed me!"  
"OMFG, it really IS a Fucking Talking and Molesting Tree!" Chrono said while pointing at the the Molesting Tree  
"come closer, boy" the Molesting Tree says in a perverted tone.  
"no, you're fucking retarded." Chrono says while backing up a bit. "I'm shitting myself here!"  
The Molesting Tree ignored him and started speaking. "I've chosen you for a very important mission." Chrono sighed and stepped closer. "An evil spider has settled in my prostate and I need you to destroy it."  
"Son of a bitch, that's gross!" Chrono shuddered a bit. "why me?"  
"well, that's because you're an ilegal immigrant." the tree said looking down at him for the first time.  
"ooh, what a dick" the little fairy whispered into Chrono's ear.  
"now you crossed the line, you fucking stupid branch!" Chrono growled.  
"It's your decision!" the tree said growling back. "either you cooperate, or I'll call the magical forest's immigration department, so they kick you the crap out of here!"  
"fucking dick..." Chrono whispered and then turned to the tree. "At least give me a gun, a flamethrower, something militar-y... a bazooka or something cool like that!"  
"well..." she pointed towards a rock, which had a wooden sword and a wooden shield on top of it. "there's a fucking wooden sword, and a fucking wooden shield, because of this fucking recession."  
"fucking dick..." he whispered again and looked up to the tree. "Okay, open your snout. I'm in a hurry!"  
"nope." the tree said smiling pervertedly again. "I already brushed my teeth so you're gonna have to go in through MY ASS!"  
"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Chrono yelled.  
Inside the Fucking Talking and Molesting Tree, Chrono and the Fairy were standing in front of the Molesting Tree's prostate, where a huge spider, which had Blizz's face on it, rested. Chrono couldn't help himself but stare at the thing.  
"Look! that's the Fucking Talking and Molesting Tree's prostate!" the fairy says while looking at the spider. "and that's the thing that's been shitting on it!"  
the spider spoke. "okay, we can manage this in a civilized manner. if you could show me an eviction order so that I can..." but the spider shat up and fell from the tree's prostate, as Chrono had stuck his sword into the thing's side.  
"Fuck you slut!" he said while pulling the sword out.  
Outside of the Fucking Talking and Molesting Tree, Chrono and the fairy looked up at the tree, noticing it looked more lively and more perverted than before. "oh, that's much better!" a rock fell on top of Chrono's head. "take this rock that has the shape of a... ehm... Tamarind...? that does nothing"  
Out of the game, Blizz was staring at the screen, aswell as Chrono. the pegasus sighed. "so much shit for that crap?"  
"yeah, asshole! when you die you won't go to heaven, because you have no soul!" Chrono stammered a bit. "and... and... s... st... stupid!"

* * *

_**Episode one ends here.**_


	2. SugarButt Corner

_**Now for more stupidity with Chrono Stone and Eternal Blizzard**_

* * *

It has been a month since Chrono Stone had last played The Legend of Melda for the first time. Eternal Blizzard was extremely bored, and sitting on a couch in his and Chrono's house, watching TV and waiting for Chrono to come back to the house and start being stupid as always.

"I just freaking hope that he doesn't buy another stupid videogame" he said sighing while swapping channels on the TV. "It's been a month since he last played that stupid game..." there was a gong sounding from behind him. it was already lunch time. "my god, when the fuck is that fucking idiot going to come back?"

Chrono suddenly appeared behind Eternal Blizzard his hooves ready to clamp on his best friend's head. "I WANT A CUPCAAAAAAAAAKE!" he screamed loudly while pushing his hooves into Blizz's head, which, being semen, was easy to penetrate.

Blizz screamed as loudl as Chrono, both from the pain and the fear of an idiot like Chrono messing around with his head. "GHYAAAAAAAARGH! LET'S GO GET YOUR FUCKING CUPCAAAAAAKE! AAAAAAAAAHHH!"

Around eleven minutes later, Chrono and Blizz were in Chrono's car, going towards SugarButt Corner, to get Chrono his cupcake. there were three kids there, in a 'quest' to get their cutiemarks, and were, for some some strange reason, hitting rocks with hammers, as if they were slaves or soemthing like that. when they went into the drive thru Blizz groaned and started to speak.

"I hate this place..." he turned to Chrono "Are you aware of the cardiovascular and kidney risk this crap puts you through?"

Chrono just ignored him and awaited in the line for his turn.

"Did you know that every five minutes one of their cupcakes is thrown to a trash bin because of their immediate expiring time?" Blizz shuddered a little bit.

Chrono had his tongue sticking out of his mouth, while he mentally sang "Lies~! I fell in love you because of you Lies~! Lies~" his mind started to make awkward and non understandable sounds. "Lies~! Lies~!"

"Did you know that there are rumours that their stuff has rat meat and waste in it?" Blizz shuddered even more.

Chrono was finally in front of the speaker, so that he could make his order. Mrs. Cake's voice sounded from inside it and spoke to Chrono. "Wellcome to SugarButt Corner, may I take your order?"

"hello!" Chrono was being unusually a gentlecolt. "Would you give me one of those 'Sugar Cubes' and uh... and your sister?"

"what was that?" Mrs. Cake thought she didn't hear well.

"and a Jizzcone!" Chrono said, seemingly not remembering anything about what he just said.

"sure sir!" Mrs. Cake kept on speaking. "Would you like your Sugar Cube with the Pedophile Cupcake or with Buttfins?"

Chrono stammered for a moment. "mmm... with Buttfins please and..." she thought for a moment "and your sister...! and Buttfins... Buttfins~!"

"Ahm... What..." Mrs. Cake was feeling a bit awkward. "what would you like to drink sir?"

"A..." he looked at the menu. "ooh! a CumCola!" Mrs. cake wasabout to say something, But Chrono interrupted her. "no, no, no... I'll get a Spuerc instead."

"got it." Mrs. Cake sighed and cleared her throat. "Would you like to super size that for twenty five cen..."

Chrono cut her off again. "and your sister~"

"Sir!" Mrs. Cake snapped and started yelling into the speaker. "I'm just trying to do my job, don't be rude! I want to take your order to serve you as best as..."

"Well, I want to eat, please, I'm hungry, if you don't like your job I don't understand what you're doing here!" Chrono yelled into the speaker aswell.

"no, no, no, no, no!" she growled. "It's not that I don't like it, it's just that I have two little kids to take care off, sir!

"okay, okay. but I also have a family to take care of...!" he said tryingto calm himself down, but Blizz interrupted him.

"dude, that's a lie" he said while looking through the window.

Chrono turned around and screamed. "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FILTHY BITCH!" he then turned to the speaker again

Mrs. Cake seemed a bit scared. "I'm just giving my best effort so you can be satisfied"

"And I'd like to save the energy I'd use on this dispute, SO I CAN EAT AND RECOVER ALL THE ENERGY I'VE WASTED WORKING TODAY" he gasped a bit and kept on screaming "AND YES! THANK YOU!"

Mrs. Cake sighed and just spoke again. "Would you like to add something else?"

"Your sister." Chrono sighed aswell. "please."

Blizz looked as Chrono moved the car over to the next window, so that he could get what he had asked for, and of course pay for it.

Chrono grabbed what he asked for and put the 'sugar cube' (that was just a little cardboard box that seemed tobe covered with sugar.) on his lap. "here, hold this." he gave the 'Jizzcone' to Blizz and started to check what was in the box. "my order is perfect."

Mrs. Cake poked his shoulder and spoke to him, "here's my sister, sir" there was a very sexy mare sitting on the window, wearing a dress.

"hey there sweetie~" the mare said getting into the car.

Chrono yelled. "WAHOO! I'll take her!"

Blizz sighed and looked down at the 'Jizzcone', it actually had a face, similar to his own and was looking up at him. "what?"

Blizz screamed loudly as Chrono drove down to their home.

* * *

_**Chapter two ends here, my little ponies~**_


End file.
